Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
