I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
