Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.

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(817): View more from Texas

They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.

Fav 7 5535 1136
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.

Fav 7 1187 2797
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.

Fav 5 1795 1510
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(614): View more from Ohio

Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.

Fav 4 1076 2008
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(772): View more from Florida

You're fine

(585): View more from New York

I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.

Fav 4 1953 1221
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(301): View more from Maryland

You told your family you're bi over the phone?!

(240): View more from Maryland

We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.

Fav 1 400 141
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(646): View more from New York

I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes

Fav 0 30 5
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