Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
