this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
