just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
