you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
