We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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