Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it's like iHOP with fire
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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