Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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