This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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