Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You ruined the universe
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize