yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
