I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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