he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
