susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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