My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
