So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize