May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
