somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
