woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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