she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
