KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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