i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
