My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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