It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
