for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
