he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
