I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
