I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize