somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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