Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
