it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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