New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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