Girls should come with a carfax report
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
