last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
