Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize