Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
