I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
