don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
