There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
