I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
