you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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