Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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