i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
