I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
