idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
