My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
