just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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