I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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