somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
