he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
