Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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