Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's never too late to be topless.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
