We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
