margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
