Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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