if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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