So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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