he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
