I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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