Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize