Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
only if we run a train.
done.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
