I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
