he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
