For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
