im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
