lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
