I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
